dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Sunday, July 05, 2015

Cactus Spring's spring

Saturday, July 04, 2015

desert animal Laura-Marie

We were warned that tonight in our neighborhood, there would be fireworks and gunshots all night.  So we decided to leave town.  We're leaving here in 45 minutes.  We're going out into the desert.

It's nice and cloudy today, and it's only 99 degrees.  A nice reprieve.

I wanted to tell you that last night we tried to experience a little First Friday.  But I was feeling fragile and didn't want to plunge into it completely.  It was hot.  We ate at a restaurant in the arts district.  I was anxious yet glad to be there.  We walked a little through a kind of fair, or a place with booths and people selling stuff, which was not so interesting.

But I liked watching artists paint on huge pieces of wood.  And I saw that nice snake lady street art I posted last night.

Overall I just got my feet wet in First Friday, which is an ever-evolving thing, and maybe in the winter it'll be better for me.

I am changing to a desert animal.  Either the swamp coolers have been working better, or I'm learning to sleep in the heat and how to be happier in the heat.

new blog about learning Spanish

I decided to make a new blog for learning Spanish.  It's here.


Friday, July 03, 2015

first Friday

mall mistake

Today I made a mistake.  I decided we should go to the mall.  I thought it would be worth it to get a big soft pretzel.  Wrong.  It was a walk from the parking garage to the shop.  Quite a walk in 107 degrees.  By the time we arrived at the pretzel shop, I was very wet with sweat.

When I ordered my pretzel, the worker looked at me weird.  There was nowhere to eat in the store, so we had to go back outside.  But we found a spot at the packed food court.

And the story has a happy ending because Ming went for the car and picked me up near the food court.  I was sitting on the edge of a planter in the shade, but the planter was still hot enough to burn my butt.  A taxi cab pulled up and the driver stared at me for a long, long time.  I don't know what was so interesting about me.  Maybe he was messin'.

Thursday, July 02, 2015

hotdog day

Last night it stormed.  Today it's muggy.  We served the hungry--it was hotdog day.  I mostly did buns.  Then I was stuck with a pot of hotdogs, somehow, and J said, "Look at those poor vegetarians over there!"  Ming and I were the last ones serving hotdogs.

We went to Costco and peace vigiled.  I talked to my friend R.  We spoke of faith and trust.  Innocence Mission, a band I like.  We spoke of his sister.  She is pregnant.  "Is she happy?" I asked.  He said she's happy and they know it's a boy.

Walking back to our car, I saw a landscaper clipping flowers off some plants.  They are long flower spikes with pink flowers, very common here, but I don't know their name.  I asked him if he was going to cut off all the flowers.  We had a hard time communicating because of a language barrier.  But I'm working on it.

I ended up breaking off a small flower spike and taking it with me.  So here it is.

flower spike

Wednesday, July 01, 2015




Here is an article about yesterday's vigil / rally with a picture of me and Ming.  It's from a newspaper called the Las Vegas Sun.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015


This morning we walked at 5:30 am and it was already 95 degrees out.  Is that even possible?  Was my phone lying to me?

Then later we went to a peace vigil / rally.  We held signs and chanted.  Some press was there and they didn't interview me, which is good.  I would have said no.

"Do you have a soundbite?" I asked my friend M.

"For the judge?" he asked.

"No, for the press," I said.

He told me he tells them how he's a veteran.  He was drafted in the Korean War, he said.  I like him.  He has a lot of chickens.

Then we went to our favy cafe and I wrote a letter.  The very nice barista gave us a free cookie that she wanted us to try.  It was so chocolately and kind of messy.  I will probably stick with my usual cookie.

Monday, June 29, 2015


Zico chocolate coconut water is good.  At first it tastes like chocolate milk, but then it has a lighter finish.  I like it a lot.  There's a good amount of chocolate flavor.  It's refreshing.

citizen of the world

Sunday, June 28, 2015

new journal

who moved my spoons?

I tried making some instant pudding with soymilk and it didn't set.  So I put in some chia seeds, and that worked.

Today I went to the cafe at the gay and lesbian center while Ming was at Food Not Bombs.  I wrote in my journal, wrote two letters, played Draw Something with my mom on my phone.

There are cicadas in the trees in our courtyard.  They're loud.

What happened to all my spoons?  I seemed to have tons, for a while, and now I'm back down to a minimal set.  I do my tricks and nothing works.  I know the heat doesn't help.

I need a vacation.  Maybe I can take a staycation for now.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Writer's Block

Yesterday we went to Barnes & Noble to look at a book, but it sucked so I didn't buy it.  I was glad I got the chance to look at it.

Well, let me start over.  First we walked.  Then we served.  Then we went to Walmart to recycle some plastic bags and air pillows.

Then I researched metaphysical bookstores and called a few looking for a particular book and having no luck.

Then we went to Barnes & Noble.  I am attracted to some colorful planners.  They start this summer.  I want to go to school this fall.  But I'd have to pay out of state tuition, and screw that!  So I guess I gotta wait a year?

Then we went to Chinatown and I got boba.  I got chocolate, and it was so good.

Then I was tired.  But we ended up going to this wonderful, amazing bookstore called Writer's Block.  The selection is sort of small, but the books are well-chosen.  We bought a humor book of mythology called Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes.  I told the long-haired Asian worker that Writer's Block reminded me of the Museum of Jurassic Technology, and he said he had heard of it but never been there.

The bookstore rejuvenated me.  Then we went to a metaphysical bookstore that I didn't like at all.  There were too many dead things.  Some of the jewelry was nice.  But I felt peered at by the owners.

The metaphysical bookstore drained me.  Then we went home.

Oh, I forgot to say we also went to Whole Foods for mushroom-flavored better than bouillon and lotsa tea.  And some organic strawberry jam.  I got vanilla-flavored dandelion tea, and it's so good.

Now that I have ground flax seeds, chia seeds, and cinnamon, I like refrigerator oatmeal again.  I got chia seeds at a Mexican grocery store for cheap.

I want to go to school for Spanish and ASL, two things I have trouble learning on my own.  I said I'd never go to school again, but maybe I need to make an exception for languages.  I'm studying some Spanish on my own right now.  It's hard work and I don't know if it's sticking.

Friday, June 26, 2015

we're fermenting sauerkraut in a mason jar

We've made sauerkraut before in a crock, but this time we're trying a large mason jar.


agave pups in the dawnlight

Thursday, June 25, 2015


"Why do they make this aloe smell like baby powder?"

"It's a nice, neutral smell."

"It's not nice or neutral!  It's nasty!  It smells like babies' asses!"

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

my conclusion about goji berries

They're like raisins but worse.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

energy drink

We were driving out to the goddess temple yesterday early in the morning.  Ming had an energy drink and offered me some.  It's a joke between us.

"Aren't energy drinks for narcoleptics and truckers?" I asked.

"Precisely," he said.

Monday, June 22, 2015

what I saw today

Sunday, June 21, 2015


happy solstice

Yesterday we bought cabbage to make sauerkraut.  We attended two meetings.  Well, three, but the last meeting was more like a party.  But we didn't stay for long.

This afternoon we have another party to go to.  We will see friends and enjoy life, is my prediction.

This morning I read the letter my therapist wrote me in March.  She instructed me to hold onto it until the first day of summer.  It was a beautiful letter.

I wanted to drive out to the goddess temple this morning.  But it's a fur piece, and we have a busy day.  Food Not Bombs, a phone meeting, that party.

I want to go to the goddess temple soon, though.  Maybe tomorrow.

Saturday, June 20, 2015


Friday, June 19, 2015

zine reviewer blues

I don't think I like my role as a zine reviewer.  It puts me in a weird position.  I'm being evaluative, and then my review is being evaluated by the zine maker.  It's a judgey process.  And it's not friendly.  I feel friendly, but I get the feeling I'm the one with power.  It's like being a teacher, sort of.  And it's a lot of work.

I got burnt out and am cutting back.  But today we are going to a pool party.  In the afternoon when it's really hot.  We got invited by some frequent Catholic Worker volunteers.  I have swimtrunks but need a new tank top for swimming.  Where would I buy such a thing?  I'll figure it out.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Ming's squid in ink sauce

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

nostalgia factor

Hello there.  I am up in the night sleepless because of the heat.  I'm tired of trying to arrange my limbs just perfectly for minimal contact and tired of all the sweat.

So I'm drinking cold brew mint tea and thought I'd tell you about the international market.

We had a weird morning.  We served but then we skipped hospitality day.  I am burnt out and needed a break.  It was our first time skipping hospitality day the whole time we've lived here.

Then in the afternoon Ming suggested we go out to the international market.  We had the address from a bag.  Our former houseguest had gone there and left us a bag.

So we went.  The place was about ten times bigger than I expected.  It was huge with all different cultures' foods.  I was drawn to some rosehip marmalade.  Instead I bought some candy from England and some steamed pudding from England.  The candy has a nostalgia factor, and the pudding just interested me.

My dad is from England, and his relatives would send us candy in the mail.  So I ate this special candy from a young age, and it's very good tasting for me.

There were Korean foods, Japanese foods.  I saw some ingredients that would really please true foodies.  It was fun but sort of overwhelming.

So send me good wishes that I will get unburnt out soon.  Thank you.


The El Salvadorian food was lovely.  I had plantains and a papusa.  Ming had eggs and beans and tortillas.

Today a cop was in our courtyard.  He was looking for someone and had a German Shepherd.  I was unhappy to see him.  Ming talked to him.

Ming does so much for me.  He gets the good partner award every day of the week.

I made broccoli, carrots, and rice noodles in peanut-pumpkin sauce for lunch.  It was amazing to actually cook something.  We had been living on sandwiches.  It's the heat.

This weekend it's supposed to hit 111 both Saturday and Sunday.  This morning we walked at 5:45 and there were a ton of people on the track.  It was 84 degrees but felt cooler.

We know the grackles.  We know the park plants--the tree with bees, the agaves with their pups, the aloe-things with their huge inflorescences.  The big trees.  The grass.

Sometimes a teenager grackle begs from its parent.  It's cute to see the parent feed the big baby.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015


Today we needed to return some cuphooks and buy some smoke detectors.  So we went to the hardware store then a different hardware store.  I went to the dollar store and accidentally bought about a 20 year supply of hair things.  Ponytail holders.  I went a little crazy, I guess because they're only a dollar.  Oops.

Today we're going to an El Salvadorian restaurant for early dinner with friends.  We already saw two of the friends today because they came to look at the water heater they'd installed.  There seemed to be a leak.  But I guess it's a pipe in the wall.  So a plumber has to come.

"Do plumbers break through walls?" I asked Ming.  Of course they break through walls.  They do whatever it takes to get to the pipes.

Fears vs concerns--getting used to the heat vs learning to live with it.  I like words and sometimes split hairs, but some distinctions I don't understand.  Sometimes it's just semantics.  Not to be confused with seeds.