friends

Yesterday we had tremendous fun.  We visited with a new Icarus friend on Mare Island.  He and Ming played pool. 

Then we went to Oakland and spent the day with my good mail friend / zine friend S-N.  It was our first time meeting in person--she lives in Minnesota.  She's around for San Francisco Zine Fest. 

We went to Aunt Mary's for brunch then for a walk at Lake Merritt.  We went to Oakland Museum of California, which is such a great museum.  I like the exhibits a lot, and we didn't ever look at the art--we looked at the history and natural history.  Then we went to College and Ashby to visit a cafe I like and then have dinner at my favorite Indian-Pakistani place. 

It was a full, rich day.  My favorite parts were hello hugs, when S-N looked at the plants we brought her, and photo taking time.

for the bread

This morning Ming was gardening at a friend's house, and I went by myself to the church food giveaway.  I went at 9:20 and there was already a huge line.  Eventually Ming arrived, done gardening.  By the time we got up to the front at 10:15 or so, the produce was mostly gone.  We got a grocery bag.

--Pirate's Booty
--a loaf of bread
--some precooked brown jasmine rice
--strawberry jello
--canned black beans
--canned ranch style beans
--four bottles of raspberry vitamin water expired June 2012

So mostly we did it for the bread.  In other bags were boxes of donuts, so I avoided those bags.

how not to spare change

Yesterday after giving E a ride to the courthouse we were in midtown stopped at a red light and someone spare changing came up to Ming's window.  When Ming said he didn't have any money, the guy said he takes Visa, which made Ming laugh.  Then the guy asked for money more and called Ming a liar when Ming said he didn't have any.  He was kind of yelling at Ming, and I was uncomfortable.  Then the light turned green, someone behind us honked, and we drove off.  The encounter was over.

jelly bean parties

Our downstairs neighbor went to Burning Man, so now we can make all the noise we want!  Last night we had a jelly bean party, listened to music kind of loud, and played cards.  It was fun.

This morning we made some photocopies, paid a tutoring visit to the literacy learner I tutor, and now we're having ramen lunch.  Later this afternoon we'll give E a ride to the family law courthouse.

Today I'm wearing the green tie dye my bestie gave me for my birthday a couple years ago and feel pretty good.  Last night after the jelly bean party I was thinking about how good we have it.  Thinking Ming and I might look back on this as such a happy and carefree time.  We have our health.  We have love.  Our parents are alive.

So maybe we'll have another jelly bean party while I wait for E to call.

bad sentence, not much to do

This morning free breakfast was not so good.  Some drunk people were loud.  I heard an interesting sentence.  "If that bitch touch my belly, I kill her and her baby."  I just ate my breakfast foods and drank my tea and left.  I only have one friend there, but I haven't seen her in a long time.

Today I have one thing to do but not at any particular time.  And we might give E a ride to the family law courthouse if he gets off work early, but he'll call. 

toast, naked man, what I can call myself, cultural appropriation

This morning Ming is helping a friend with her yard.  I went to free breakfast.  I waited a long time at the toast station.  We are out of breakfast foods at home.

I can hear the neighbors talking downstairs.  One is going to Burning Man soon.  I think I will never make it--too expensive.  And I am not a party animal.

In Winnemucca there was a kiosk at the visitor's center where you could check your email, but it was busted in.

I never told you that in Portland, we saw a naked man.  I was getting on the bus and caught a glimpse of him from behind.  Ming said he saw the naked man peeing into a can. 

I've been thinking about cultural appropriation and what we can call ourselves.  Am I a person of color though I look white and don't speak Spanish?  Can I claim that, or should I just say I'm white?  It's confusing.

I was hanging out with some Native Americans back when I worked on the res in Bishop and they were talking shit about a kid who was half Native, half white dancing in a competition and doing very well.

Anyway, a friend was talking about seeing someone who looked white wearing a feather in her hair, and Ming and I discussed that yesterday.  I was asserting that if she looks white, she shouldn't do it, because who cares if she's one eighth whatever?  If she looks white, that's what matters.

But obviously I have some energy about that.  I knew a kid in high school who was blond and so into his Native heritage and it made me sick.  I was like, get real.  You're blond!  He was just trying to feel special.

I was on facebook a couple weeks ago and some people were talking about cultural appropriation.  Someone was saying how someone was wearing a kimono and wasn't Japanese so it was wrong.  That's how all this got turning in my mind. 

I know someone who named her white kid "I love you" in some African language.  What do you think about that?

On one hand, it's a modern world.  On the other hand, respect.  I don't have the answers to these interesting questions.

the ugly, the bad, and the good

I didn't blog yesterday because the main activity of the day was divorce forms.  Nobody wants to hear about that!  Yuck! 

And the landlord's dad needs to fix the wall under the kitchen sink which they knocked out weeks ago in order to get at a leak.  Ming described the multi-step process to me, and I lamented. 

But we bought some green pluots and they're so delicious.  And some lemon cucumbers.  At the farmers market you can buy chips and salsa for a dollar fifty, and they're great.

my current theme song

Here is my personal transcription of my new favorite song, my theme song, "A Little Bit Weird" by Kepi Ghoulie.

Everybody is a little bit weird.
And it's okay
to be a little bit weird.
Something to be celebrated
and not to be feared.
All of us are a little bit weird.

Ketchup on your cornflakes, I don't know,
but if that's what you like, well then I guess so.
Elvis ate bananas with peanut butter,
and he paid his taxes, and he loved his mother.

Everybody is a little bit weird.
And it's okay
to be a little bit weird.
Something to be celebrated
and not to be feared.
All of us are a little bit weird.

I have a friend who likes to wear capes.
You like pancakes,
and I like crepes.
I eat fake chicken instead of steaks.
I think we all agree that cars should have brakes.

Everybody is a little bit weird.
And it's okay
to be a little bit weird.
Something to be celebrated
and not to be feared.
All of us are a little bit weird.

Something to be celebrated
and not to be feared.
All of us are a little bit weird.

this morning's non-events

This morning we walked to the co-op for blah blah blah reason, and then we continued to the bank, but it was closed, so we walked to Safeway for vegan mayo, and huzzah!  They had some.  So we bought that and some more organic dinosaur eggs and some organic grapes and some fresh bagels and a banana.  Oh, and some tofurky.  And Ming craved orange juice.

We stood near the fountain I love, which is not flowing right now, the one with the Rubaiyat quote next to it, and ate our bagels.

Then the bank was open, and we tried to change some leftover Canadian money, but they said we had to go to a different branch near some museum.

Someone said good morning to us, then, "If you drop a penny, I'll pick it up."  Then we heard the sound of a coin hitting the ground.  The person standing next to him must have dropped a penny.

I am in a good mood.  My keys were lost, but I found them.  They were on the bed.

handouts

There's this freeway offramp right by our apartment, and someone put up a wooden sign that says, "Handouts support homelessness."  People occasionally spare change there.  The sign has been up for months.  It's not super noticeable.  But it pisses me off.  I think their point is that if you give money to homeless people, they stay homeless, and if you refuse to give them money, they'll be forced to give up homelessness and get a job and magically turn into model citizens.  Of course that's bunk--it doesn't work that way.  But I don't see why the powers that be allow the sign to stay up.  I guess they agree with it, so that vandalism stays? 

There was a beautiful street art painting up that was painted over within days, so why does this wooden sign on the fence remain? 

sweet grapes, sour peaches

This morning we went to church to do the monthly bulletin, only it's not really monthly because of summer break.  It was the September bulletin, and I didn't even read it.  Other people do the proofing and printing now.

We finished in record time, I guess because I had energy, and then had tea with Swami.  We talked about the epic roadtrip, his plane trip to Vancouver, how our gardens are doing.

Then he gave us some sweet grapes and sour peaches from the temple garden.  I washed and cut up some peaches, but even with sugar on them, they were still sour.  Maybe I should have cut them smaller.

home safe from the epic roadtrip

Last night was pretty miserable.  There was a storm, and when we got back to our tent, it was wet inside because we didn't put up the rainfly.  So Ming dried it out as best he could and put up the rainfly.  There was thunder and lightning.  Then a powerful wind started to blow in terrible gusts.  The tent was moving all around like a violent living thing, and it was impossible to sleep.  Also we were afraid a tree would fall, killing us.  So while it was still barely daylight we took down the tent and moved into the truck.  We tried to sleep in our seats.  I was awake more than half the night.  The storm passed and the moon was nearly full.  I went outside and moon gazed for a while.

Now we're home!  I feel kind of overwhelmed by home, like we don't have fruit or veggies, and I had to make a bunch of phonecalls, and my to do list is huge.  All I want to do is hide.  Maybe I should do that.

Winnemucca

Hello from Winnemucca, Nevada.  This is the last stop on our trip home.  I can't believe it's over.  And in a way I wish it would never end.  I wish to travel with Ming forever.  But home might be good too?  All the mail waiting for me, responsibilities.  It's good and bad.

Tonight we're camping at a free campground.  Right now we're at a library to keep cool.  This morning we said goodbye to our friend D and left Boise.  It was sad to say goodbye.  But I feel so grateful to him and to everyone who offered us hospitality during this trip.  It was great to meet mail friends / zine friends in person and have conversation and good times and hugs.  Thanks to all of you.

Boise pics

Ming with hydrangeas.

Ming with sunflowers.

Ming with amaranth.

An alley in downtown Boise.

Riverfront Park in Spokane pics

Runner sculptures.

Fountain pic that looks all weird because the sun's behind it.

Water dripping from a tree.

The falls.

Vancouver pics

This is at the seawall at Stanley Park.

A totem pole at Stanley Park.

Portland and Seattle pics

Me and M in Portland riding the MAX.  Why do we look so serious?  Who knows!

Me and a different M in Seattle at Volunteer Park's dahlia garden.

Me with the camel that's in front of the Asian art museum in Volunteer Park.

Seattle's underbridge troll.

Idaho Botanical Garden, balsamic vinegar on ice cream, too many bacon wallets

Yesterday we did all the things I said I was going to do last post.  We liked the Idaho Botanical Garden a lot.  It was good to see the different kinds of plants, and the Lewis and Clark garden was interesting--I liked the signage.  And we got to see some beautiful stonecrops and veggies like gorgeous huge pumpkins and glorious sunflowers and white eggplants and lots of tomatoes.  We ate a couple cherry tomatoes, grapes, and Ming and I shared a delicious rosehip.  I saw the biggest rosebushes I had ever seen, some Idaho native roses.

It was fun to go to Mountain Home to see D's parents.  We sat in their living room just taking.  We ate cookies and cake and drank water.  Then D's dad showed us some of his paintings, and we looked at the garden.  We saw squash bugs, which I had never seen before.  I think I did a pretty good job being social, though I could have asked questions more.

And laundry was okay.  It was interesting to see the different people in the laundromat--other than Ming, they were all white.  It was fast.  In the past laundromats have been sad places for me, but lately they are fine.

Last night we ate pesto pasta and a good potato salad and bread and then some vanilla ice cream with warmed fig jam and balsamic vinegar.  I had heard of doing this but never tasted the result.  It was okay, good to try but just for something different.  I mean the balsamic vinegar.  D's girlfriend is easy to be around, and so is D, so this has been a great stop on our trip.

Then we went to bed early.  A theme of this trip is me getting very tired.  I guess I have less energy than most people.  But it's also true that heat exhausts me, and being social does too, and we've had a lot of meeting people and spending hours socializing when usually that's a rarity.  And of course seeing sights involves lots of walking.  Yesterday after the garden we went downtown and walked around for an hour and looked at the stuff in this record store.  I have seen bacon wallets so many places!

Idaho goodness

We are in Boise now with a good friend who we met in person for the first time yesterday.  He took us to pizza at this place that I think is called Flying Pizza.  The food was delicious, but I had a headache and was too nauseated to eat much.

But we slept long and hard, and my headache went away.  Now we're off to the Idaho Botanical Garden and to do laundry and to visit D's mom and dad in Mountain Home and to see D's girlfriend for dinner.  We haven't decided what to make yet.

I was excited to cross the border into Idaho, my first time in Idaho.

waylaid by a tire

We are outside a tire place in Le Grande, Oregon waiting for the workers to put on a new tire for $139. Does that seem right to you?  We are familiar with used tires put on at the little tire shop that's very near home.  I think they are around $40.  So this is a big difference, but we have to worry about them all the time, the used ones.  So maybe it's good to get a new one for a change?

This morning in Spokane we went to Riverfront Park where there was a world's fair in 1964.  We saw the beautiful beautiful falls in the early morning sun and took some pictures.  I hope to have some time to upload pics soon.

We also peeked at the carousel.  Ming explained to me about grabbing a brass ring to throw at a target while the carousel spins--I had no idea.  I missed that, my first 36 years.  

We saw some statues of runners made of rusted metal.  We saw an amazing fountain--it's maybe the best fountain I ever saw.  Again, in the early morning light, it was perfect.

Washington briefly

Hello from a Starbucks about 100 miles outside of Spokane, Washington.  We are okay but got detained at the border again, this time by the US.  I was way, way more scared to be detained by the US.  I was really scared.

But now I'm drinking an expensive decaf coffee drink and enjoying the cloudy weather.  I called our Spokane couchsurfing host and told her we will be there around 5:30.

We will be in Washington just overnight and then to Boise!

my verdict on Canada

We went to the lake and beheld it.  It's truly beautiful.  But it was raining.  We slept in BOB and talked for a long time.  I ate some onion crackers and sweet potato tortilla chips. 

Now we're at the library again.

My opinions on Vancouver: the people are more polite than any I have encountered elsewhere--thanking the bus driver, asking us if we were lost when we pulled out a map, helping us figure out the bus schedule.

Vancouver's mostly white and Asian-Canadian people.  I like the two dollar coins.  I like the accents.

At Stanley Park yesterday we hung out by the totem poles, and I was trying to figure out how I felt about them.  I like them, but they're not for me.  I feel like I'm not the intended audience. 

That's kind of how I feel about Canada too, or what little we've seen.  I appreciate United Statesians more than ever.  But I feel restless about it too.

rainy day in Coquitlam

I have two minutes left on my library computer.  Yesterday we rode public transit for hours, and a lot of the time I was standing up in buses, holding on for dear life.  We walked for miles, and we had good times and bad.  I got overloaded.  Today I need to take it easy.  We were going to a lake, but it's raining. 

failed candybar, hemp cereal laughter, anarchist bookstore, hemp hat

Hello, world.  I am at an anarchist bookstore in Vancouver called Spartacus.  They have computers to use for free.  So I thought I'd say hi.  We went to this place called Deserts for vegetarian food for lunch with a new Icarus friend.  It was good.  Then we took the bus here.  We took the Skytrain too and it was easy to use. 

Some things I wanted to mention, in no particular order...

In Bellingham, Washington I tried a kind of candybar I had never seen before called Idaho Spud.  We stopped at this drugstore for postcards and I looked at all the candybars.  I noticed it had agar agar in it.  So I ate it, and I didn't like it.  I should have thrown it away, but I did finish it.  But I would not eat that candy bar again.  I don't get its project.  Yeah, it looks kind of like a half potato, but I don't know what they're trying for otherwise.

In Seattle, we went to this large Asian market Uwajimaya where we had inari and thin soba noodles with tofu in blackbean sauce.  Ming bought me a little stationery and almost bought me a tiny panda stamp.

Also in Seattle, we went to Pike's Market, and I got a brownie at Three Girls Bakery.  Ming got earl grey shortbread. We looked around.

We gave our hemp granola to M and T in Seattle before we left.  I was worried about the border crossing, like what if they thought it was drugs?  So we laughed, thinking I was being paranoid, not knowing what would actually happen at the border!

So last night we had a good sleep on some couch cushions on the floor.  The cushions slipped apart so that my hips were on the floor, but it was not too bad because the rest of my body was supported by the cushions.

We were going to go to the VanDusen Gardens today, but we decided to go to Stanley park instead because of where we are.  And we can go to VanDusen tomorrow.  I want to get high tea there.  

Today Ming bought me a hat.  It's cute and effective.  It's sort of yellow and black, but not really.  It's made of hemp and has a wire rim that's bendy.  It smells like incense, and I like it.

Canada welcomes us into its loving arms

Today's big thing was going to Canada.  The biggest thing was being stopped at the border.  They searched BOB and interrogated us.  It was tense and intense.  It took a long time.  It could have been way worse, though.  But I was frazzled by it.

The tensest time was when they took Ming away to interrogate him.  Sad face!  I didn't like them taking him away.  I didn't like not knowing what they were doing to him.  Or how long he'd be gone.  I sat there without him, trying not to freak out.  Then they interrogated me, but they were nice to me.  It was not so bad at all.  There were two guys, and one was good cop, and then I was worried when the other one started talking to me like he was going to be all bad cop, but it was really fine.

Then we got kind of lost and had to find a bank to pull Canadian cash, and I found a payphone too to call our host, and he was very nice.

Then we finally got here, three and a half hours late, and our host had soup and savory rye muffins for us.  We talked over dinner about all kinds of things, and we gave him zines, and we gave him Nacheez.  It's nice it was just him.  Tomorrow his kids will be here, and I'm sure they're great, but I liked it being quiet tonight.

Seattle

Yesterday we left Portland and traveled to Olympia and Seattle.  We stopped in Oly for just half an hour.  We tried to go to a huge farmers market, but it was closed.  Instead we visited Dancing Goat Coffee.

Then in Seattle we met my friend M who I have known for years through the mail.  She is a poet, and we met her girlfriend too.  They are very nice.  We went to Volunteer Park and walked up some flights of stairs to the top of this water tower that has great views.  It was fun.  And we looked at a dahlia garden.  We wanted to go to the Asian art museum, but it's closed Mondays, and the conservatory too.

We went to this strange store called Archie McFee's that has all kinds of strange stuff in it, like neon orange emergency hats, little plastic animals, retainer cases, toy zombie babies, etc.  Ming bought me eight postcards and a little cocktail fork.  I was charmed by the little fork.

Then we went to Indian food and M pulled out a hundred dollar bill and treated us.  It was so sweet.  The food was absolutely delicious.  We got spinach naan, which we had never had before.  It was so good.  And I got malai kofta, and Ming got something I didn't like much: tofu jafrizi.  I think it's bland.

Then we went to Fremont and saw this underbridge troll.  I was expecting something colorful and cute. Instead it was creepy and concrete and huge.  I liked it but did not feel the need to climb on it.  Then we went to the locks.  The locks were great, and we got to see some boats in them.  It's like an elevator for boats.

But what was really cool was the fish ladder.  You get to see the fish through these windows.  The fish are beautiful.  A ranger person was there briefly and said they were 16 pound salmon.  There were four different kinds of salmon.  The fish ladder helps the fish get back to the place they were born so they can mate so the life cycle can continue.  The original fish ladders were built long ago and improved upon in the '70s.

Today we cross the border into Canada, which I am nervous about.  Hopefully it will be a non-event.  Tonight we'll sleep in a suburb of Vancouver.  Tomorrow we'll see a new Icarus friend and visit a botanic garden, probably, and have an NDE conference call.  We are couchsurfing.  It's my first time couchsurfing with a stranger.

I need to go hop in the shower now and get the day started and see more of Seattle before we have to leave town at 2.  Bye for now, world!

three dreams

Night before last I dreamt there was a baby I needed to take care of.  Then all day yesterday I had these strange tender feelings toward the little animals I saw. Even animal sculptures, like some metal wood ducks.

Last night I dreamt of slugs--one of the two slugs, I noticed writing on it, and the writing was mine.  In the dream slugs weren't gross like I find them in real life.

I also dreamt I was sitting in the living room in the dark with candle light singing songs with NDE friends.  It was a beautiful, warm dream.

imaginary glowing starry easy chair --> frogish space alien --> dress

Today we went to the Portland Zine Symposium day two.  It was fun.  We visited all the tables and ate some delicious carby foods from the snack room.  I had an oat bar, a tiny lemon bar, and half a scone.  I had some delicious jasmine green tea too.  I wanted more and more of it.

We talked to some very nice people.  We did a lot of trades.  I bought a burrito zine for a burrito-obsessed friend who I barely know.

We went to a comix making workshop.  I want to become a comix maker!  We did this drawing exercise.  I drew the same glowing starry easy chair from my imagination eight times.  It started out looking like a frogish space alien and at the end looked like a dress.

I bought the new book by comix maker Jason Martin--looks fantastic--though I said I would not do that.

Then we stopped by this Burgerville for blackberry milkshakes and shared a yukon and white bean burger which did not delight me, though I like the idea of bean burgers a lot.

We rode the train.  We laughed about the huge silo-like things on the river.  Ming said he thought they were grain silos.  I said I thought they were for storing fish.

Tomorrow: Seattle and one of my very favorite penpals I will be meeting in person for the first time!

Portland day one

Today we went to Voodoo Donuts for creamy chocolatey vegan deliciousness.  We forgot the camera though, so I can't show you.  Ming got a vegan apple fritter, and the bite I ate was good.

Then we went to the Chinese gardens.  They are still beautiful.  At the tea shop we had some white peony, horse beans, a tea egg.  It was wonderful.

Then we had Indian food for lunch, from a food cart that said it was not a food cart, and talked to a very nice kid from Edmonton.  The spinach was boring--so were the dal and chickpeas.  But the navratan was first rate, and the naan was good.

Then we went to Laughing Horse Books, which is a radical bookstore / infoshop.  There we read a little and learned to cardweave.  I met a penpal.

Then we went to Red & Black Cafe and had some dragon noodles and met two friends but did not stay for the Rad Dad / Hip Mama reading.

Now we're home with the friend we're staying with, and he's going to make some popcorn.  I wanted mine without pepper.

Bus rides, postcards from Powell's, stink smells, exhaustion.  I hope that while I'm sleeping, my mind can heal so I can do okay tomorrow at Portland Zine Symposium 2013 day one.

news from the road

Dear world,

Hello there!  Guess where I am?  Fred Meyer in Salem, Oregon!  We were looking for the historic district and couldn't find it.  But here I am blogging to you.  Last night we slept near Mt Shasta the mountain.  It was so cold!  It was like, "I can breathe, or I can freeze.  Which do I choose?"  Mostly I put the sleeping bag over my face.

Today we stopped by Heaven on Earth for a late breakfast.  I like that place, but my food was not good.  But Ming liked his veggie omelette and the watermelon and the totally bland potatoes and the dry, brittle toast.  Well, the apple butter and marionberry jam were awesome, I'll agree to that.

I've been needing brainwash to wash some unwanted thoughts from my mind that have been attacking me on the drive--sometimes long stretches of road are bad for my head.  But I am feeling better now.  Almost to Portland!

well wishes and good vibes,
Trixie Human

conversation post free breakfast

me:  Good morning.
him:  Good morning.  Aren't you usually walking with somebody else?
me:  Yeah, he's elsewhere.  Nice lavender.
him:  It's the only thing they left.  They stole the white roses and red geraniums.  I think it was street people.  I was close to that, but I never stole flowers.  I had principles.  You have a good day.
me:  See ya.

stress

Trying to find an inexpensive place to stay in Vancouver three nights and Spokane one night.  We've tried couchsurfing, hostels, and Airbnb.  We are not having the best luck.  But I think we'll find something today.

I just ate a yellow plum.  It was good. 

BOB is having an electrical problem.  It's a brake light--it would not work. Then it was stuck on, and now it's back to not working.  We'll bring it to the mechanic tomorrow morning. 

I want to tell you something wonderful, but there has been a lot of stress around here lately.  A pipe was leaking into the wall, down into our neighbor's apartment, and the landlord and his dad were here yesterday with a SawsAll and other loudness.  I hid in the bedroom, working on my Erik and Laura-Marie Magazine anthology project.  I think the finished zine will be huge, and I am starting to wonder what I've gotten myself into.

Now I'm going to start working on functionally ill 16.  Wish me luck!

avocado moral failing

I said: You know how you buy an avocado, you put it on the counter, waiting, waiting, and then it's finally ripe and you cut into it and it's rotten?

Ming said yes, and I asked him why that happens so often.  He speculated.

Then I asked him if, when that happens, he feels bad, like having a rotten avocado is a moral failing.  He said yes.  I wondered if that's a widespread thing.

We talked about the same thing happening with mangoes too.

curious

This morning something really big happens and I'm sleep depriving myself in honor of it.  Ming and I just played some rummy with jokers using the special fossil playing cards we got in Mt Shasta the town. 

Yesterday we went to Oakland so Ming could help his mom and sis do some work.  I hung out at a cafe in the Dimond district then got a burrito then hung out at the library for a while.  Some little kids were using a stapler a lot, at my table, and I was so afraid of injury.  I moved to another location where some other kids and an adult were playing chess.  I read City of Glass, which is about Vancouver. 

Ming and I are about to go on an epic roadtrip to Mt Shasta the town, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Spokane, and Boise.  We still need places to sleep half the nights (Vancouver and Spokane).  My Seattle friend suggests camping between Seattle and Vancouver.  I am worried about how it will feel to be abroad.  I'm worried it will feel too scarey, I'll feel unmoored.  I know you're probably laughing at me since Canada is a lot like the US.  I'm also worried about border crossings.  I'm also curious about how BOB will fare.  Worried / curious.